Friday, June 18, 2004

Definitions For Parents

Amnesia:
Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.

Dumbwaiter:
One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

Family Planning:
The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

Feedback:
The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.

Full Name:
What you call your child when you are angry with him/her.

Grandparents:
The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.

Hearsay:
What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

Impregnable:
A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

Independent:
How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

Ow:
The first word spoken by children with older siblings.

Pre-natal:
When your life was still somewhat your own.

Puddle:
A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

Show Off:
A child who is more talented than yours.

Sterilize:
What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.

Top Bunk:
Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.

Two-Minute Warning:
When the baby’s face turns red and he/she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

Verbal:
To whine in words.

Whodunnit:
None of the kids that live in your house.

Posted by Venusian31 on 06/18 at 12:53 PM
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