Obviously, my anti-depressant is beginning to work. Although I had a brief slump last weekend after losing my fish, I am feeling much better now and find myself full of energy and creativity lately.
I’ve always been a very right-brain, creative type person but for a long time, that part of myself has been suppressed. I just felt too tired, too depressed, and too unmotivated to do much. It doesn’t help that I live in the midst of a very UN-creative family that seems to be totally unable to comprehend my personality and, therefore, spends a lot of time trying to suppress it. I’ve spent a lifetime being told to “grow up” and “get my head out of the clouds” and “be realistic.” I’m a dreamer. I admit it. But I’m also very smart and very talented. If I can learn to have confidence in myself and not let my family force me into a mold that doesn’t fit me, I have great potential to do something creative with my life. I’ve spent too many years trying to be what everyone else says I SHOULD be instead of pursuing the person I want to be. No more.
In just a few weeks I’ll be 37 years old and that’s 37 years that everyone ELSE got to control. The rest of my life is mine and I’m going to do what makes ME happy. I’m going to fulfill MY dreams now. If that makes me childish and selfish, so be it. It’s my life and I only get one chance to live it, so I’m going to live it, MY WAY!
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