Thursday, April 22, 2004
At my counseling session yesterday, I talked with my counselor more about taking an anti-depressant. My appointment with the psychiatrist is on Monday and I've pretty much made up my mind that I'm willing to give them a try. Recent attempts to tolerate a support group meeting have proved to me that the counseling alone is NOT getting my anxiety under control and I don't want to spend the rest of my life freaking out and feeling like I'm going to throw up or pee my pants every time someone tries to talk to me. I would like to actually be a part of the world again.
So, as I was discussing the anti-depressants with my counselor, she mentioned that there are some that cause weight gain, some that cause weight loss, and some that do neither as side effects and that I should discuss this with the psychiatrist since my weight is a big issue for me. I definitely do NOT want to take anything that will cause weight gain. That is absolutely not an option, but the ones that do neither would be ok with me if those are the best choice for my anxiety. Now, if the ones that create anxiety loss also result in weight loss, that would be GREAT, as long as there aren't any other major side effects that might make me miserable. I could be really content with those! Just think, I could get happy, get anxiety free, and get thin all with the same little pill. Who'd have thought?
I also met with my case worker the day before yesterday and we discussed possible ways for me to get some exercise that won't put any stress on my back, feet, or joints. She's going to check on a program she heard about that offers water aerobics classes for $1 each. If I could get into something like that, it would really help. Being in the water makes even the heaviest person feel weightless and it would be a good way to get some exercise without stressing my body. The water will help keep me cool, too.
Maybe there's hope for me yet. I'm still interested in the gastric bypass surgery as a long-term solution but at least these other things can help me in the meantime.
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